Before I am Famous

literature is something we infer after the story is told

On Writing

Posted on | April 24, 2006 |

Sometimes, I ask myself am I really a writer? Do I have what it takes to be great? I sit online and read blog after blog of people bearing their souls or the gripes in this great writing style which I feel that I can not compare to. But I suppose that everyone goes through that.

For awhile now, I have a had a writer’s block. I think of it as more of a door in my head that is closed but not locked. I always thought of myself as a writer and that almost defined me as a person. Of course there are other things that define me but writing was the big one. I think back to all my years in school and all that have told me that I was going to go far. But here I am.

My 6th grade teacher was the first to tell me that I was gifted. She said I was creative plus I was a good speller. Every week, in English there would be an editor of sorts and this person would pretty much help out others. You know reading what they wrote offereing suggetions to make it better. After awhile, I was always the editor. I loved it. And as the years went by I had many more teachers tell me good things about my writing.

I am the person, that actually believes that I am going to be lucky enough to make it in this world of web-publishing and new writers sprouting up everyday. But now, the gift that I hold so dear that defines me is shut up. I want to open that door. I sit around for days with a pen in hand just burning to write something that isn’t garbage. Hell right about now, I would be happy for some garbage at least there is hope for it to be better.

There are these times, I get these wonderful bursts of creativity and I write something and it is okay to me, maybe good to others. I used to get these bursts all the time. I know an artist shouldn’t force anything out. I just wish the flood gates would open and I can continue on with my dreams.

And there these times, when I have something great in my head. And then I grab the paper and pen and poof, it is out the window and I am left with nothing. It is so damn frustruating. Because all I really want do to with my life is writer.

I am the person who actually fancies myself as a writer and I wil tell people so. Right now, I am a writer that doesn’t write. I wish I knew what was going on inside my head because I would fix it. Even some of my darker days when I didn’t even want o get out of bed, I could still write. There is nothing more satisfying than that rush that I feel when I complete something be it a short story or a poem. To me it is like a drug, that I am craving.

I know this is a lot longer than I normally write but for whatever reason, I just had to write this down and get it off my chest. These thoughts just kept popping in my head for the last week or so and it was driving me batty. Maybe it some kind catharsis, that I desperately needed.

Okay thanks for reading.
Have a good day.

comment from blogger

Wayne said…
You are being too hard on yourself. This article that exlplains your feelings may not be the type of writing you are looking for but it qualifies as writing. Also your opinion piece on the news is very creative. Writing from your heart can not be thought up, as you know, it is just there. You are doing fine. I have always had confidence in you.

Twisted Lady Writer said…
I’m busy asking myself is there such a thing as writers block? Or am I just being lazy?

There’s one piece of advice I can give you: Never give up. If deep inside your heart you believe you’re a writer, no matter what anyone else says — you are. If they laugh and say you’re not — prove to the b******’* you are. There’s thousands of magazines & e-zines out there, start with them for practice.

Don’t let that dream die…

CM Edwards said…
I think your writing is wonderful, J.

Category: notes on writing

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