Before I am Famous

The sun fills her room with bright light, she is already awake. She is not sleeping well these days. The funeral is in the afternoon. His body arrived the other day. Daylene was not allowed to see it. Probably for the best she thinks. His mother is sleeping on the couch. Thank god for Jess, she made all those horrible calls to his loved ones. She know she would do the same for her if the tables we turned.

There is a knock at the door. She goes out and answers it. She signs for the package and the delivery man brings it in. She opens it up. It is Jason’s things from Iraq. There isn’t much. Sandy wakes up and goes over to Daylene and together they both go through his things.

She finds all the letters and pictures she sent him. She rereads them and starts to cry again. She puts them aside. There is a toy he must have bought for the baby. Some pictures of him and his fellow reservists. She finds a couple of him and Paul, she decides to give one to Jess, she would like it. There is an Iraqi flag, some Iraqi money and a book written in Arabic. She opens the book, someone wrote Thank you, for saving my baby’s life. At the bottom there is a little box. Daylene opens it there is a gold necklace with an arabic charm dangling from it. There is a note tucked inside the box written in Jason’s handwriting. It is a note for her,

It means mother, because you are a mother. Love Jason.

She puts the necklace on and lays on the floor and cries. Sandy, who is crying herself comes over and hugs her.

The rest of the day blurs together. Jess picks up her and Sandy and they go to the cementary. When she arrives, they seat her in a chair up front. An American flag is draped over the mahagoney coffin. Flowers surround the one side and some members of the military stand behind the pastor.He is the same one who married them.

He starts the ceremony. Her eyes are red and dry. There are no more tears to come. She sits there comalike. Afterwards, they fold the flag and give to Daylene and salute her. Shots ring through the humid Mississippi air. She jumps a little.

Cramps invade her belly. She holds it. Sandy looks over. The contractions are strong and coming fairly close.

“I think the baby is coming,” she says loudly.

The ocean greeted me as
she always does with
salty kisses on my feet.
The storm passed through
the night, leaving her churnig and
unaware of her awesome power.
Up and ahead,
the sky as blue as a
dream of nothing.

Time is such a madness and we all are suffering from it.
Even the ocean in her purist form is about time.

There is a time when she heaves heavier,
longer and farther.
And when she is gentle enough to rock us to sleep.

Here people have said time stands still
maybe time doesn’t stand still here but
slows to clock of the tides.

She has been giving salty kisses for every genration, if,
they want them.

She is beautiful eventhough
she kills.
She is peaceful eventhough
she destroys.
She inspires eventhough
she frightens.

And when she kisses, it makes me think
of a lover’s first kiss, the salty lingering.
I feel connected with her like sisters,
sharing secrets long into the morning.

And perhaps she is.