Before I am Famous

I am ready, ready to take that first baby step to making my dreams come true. I am firm a believer that you make your own dreams come true. Anyway, I am not here to talk philosophy. I have spent the last week editing and re-editing my mystery story. I have chopped out pretty close to 500 words. I sent the story to my dad who will look over it and let me know if anything needs fixed.

When I am through with that stage, I will sending it to drum roll please… Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine.

I am anxious. I am excited. Even if they reject my story, it doesn’t mean I am a sucky writer, it just means my style doesn’t fit their style. With that aside, I am taking the most important step; sending that very first story to real paying magazine.

Holy Crap! I feel like a writer!

Read the story at my portfolio it is called Brown Shells Holding Keys, the revised edition will be up tomorrow. And read scroll down and read my mini story called The End.

Have a great day!

Hello, I don’t know I just have to say what I am feeling right now. I guess I am kind of down in the dumps. I really don’t know why. I think there is a lot of things. I guess I am in just in one of those moods. Everyone goes through them.

I know one thing is that feeling of inadequency as fas as writing goes. But I suppose that is everyday but lately it seems like I am not good enough. I think I should stop reading for awhile and focus on my work. I spend way too much time comparing my stories with other people. Sometimes, I think hey my story is better than this one. And then in the same thought I don’t know why I even try. Aahhh. I am frusturated. Do all people go through this in their chosen life?

Another is I want to lose some weight. I really do except I love food way too much. I tried cutting my calories to 1500 a day. A big drop from probably more than that I eat a day. Well that didn’t last long even though I was eating right around there I was hungry which made me agitated and then I am stuck in this loop of eating again. I have been guzzling water like crazy but that craving for food is something I should try getting over before I really start dropping the calorie intake. I don’t know what I am going to do about that.

I really can’t believe how the calories add up. When I started to keep track of the food I was so shocked how much everything is. It makes me stop and think. I know I have to exercise. Yeah I am one of those people that start really exercising. And then one day I wake up and quit. I get bored of the exercise I designed for myself and that is the end of that.

So I am not the perfect person everyone thought I was. Perhaps I will find solace in my bath or in my dreams. We shall see.

I needed to get all this off my chest.

Have a good day.

I know you watch me
from across the table
across the room
waiting for that moment
when our eyes meet
and they do
my heart does not flutter
nor do I faint
perhaps a short time ago
I never thought I was worth
a second glance
now you watch me
and I desire you not
Where does this power come from?the power I never knew
I had.
A sexual womanly power.

Did you know in this great state of Pennsylvania one could get fired from his or her job because he/she is gay? I did not know this either until I watched the news this evening. There is a bill in the works to expand anti-discrimination laws to include homosexuals.

Some republican represenatives believe that being gay is a lifestlye choice and should not be included. One used the word “immoral”.

What ever happened to ability to the job? Who cares if that person is gay? Why should sexual oreintation even be in the workplace? If a person can do the job and do it well then that is all that should matter.

Its not okay for schools to discriminate sexual orientation. So what good is that degree if they can’t find a job because someone thinks that person is gay? Work should be about work not about anything else.

But it’s not okay for a gay business owner to fire a straight person on the same grounds; not being gay. Yeah this the land of oppurtunity if you’re not gay, that’s what I understand from a lot of people in politics.

I hope this bill passes because it is the right thing to do. People who are gay are still people and deserve the same protection and rights that we all enjoy and take for granted.

Well hello, I haven’t posted in awhile because I was away. On Sunday I went to visit my parents. I told them that we planned to go the Ocean City in NJ on Monday. Well my dad suggested Seaside Heights, NJ. He even went to Mapquest and printed out directions on how to get there.

It was sunny and hot and we followed the directions to the letter. We did not get lost. But the directions took us through these backroads in some NJ town. Hell I don’t even know the names of the towns we were in. Finally, we smelled the fresh sea air. Seaside Heights was really nice and we enjoyed ourselves. This was the first time my daughter was at the beach and she loved it. She loved it so much she couldn’t bring herself to sleep even when she really wanted to.

Well it was time to leave. We wanted to get back at my parents before too late so we can spend some time with them. We reversed our directions. So far so good. Then I don’t know what happened but apparently we couldn’t not find the exact same roads we were on. And there is no left turns in Jersey, so that’s how I think we got lost.

Okay, we drive around and wind up back in, you guessed it, Seaside Heights. Great, I thought we can start over and get on the Jersey turnpike. No, that didn’t happen either. So after a few hours driving around we stop at the 7 eleven and ask for the directions. And we get soem great directions too.

But I mess up this time and instead of taking the Garden State Parkway north to 195, we took it south. But at least I knew how to get back eventhough it took us extra time.

After we got home, we looked at some brochures and found one for a water park at Seaside. And guess what was on the back, really simple directions on how to get there. Now we know for next time because we have some easy directions.

Well, at least it was definitly a trip to remember.

Have a great day!

It is simply a most wonderful day outside. It is in the mid 60’s, the sun is shining, the sky is blue as the Carribean Sea and there is light, cool breeze drifting by with the aroma of burning brush. It feels like one of those days at the end of September instead of the begining of June. So of course right now I could be outside watching my sunflowers grow. I planted a bunch and I have one flower that stands about 2 feet tall the east are only about 6 inches tall.

I am inside because I am determined to get some typing done on Seaspring Briar. I did get a lot done last night and I am sure I will work on it soon enough. I am not even half through typing it and I have almost 5,000 words. I am about a fourth of the way. So I am figuring on close to 20,000 words when I am through. And that my dear friends, is what many consider a novella!

By the way a novel is 50,000 words. I think that maybe the reason in my delay of writing my own novel. I am working my way up the word count, making the stories longer and longer until I write a novel. I know there is a lot of work to write a novel. For me it’s not the issue of time or even typing it (although that is going to be horrendous since I am writing it on paper) it’s just getting my pen going and start writing.

I even have lots and lots of blank notebooks that I got for mother’s day to write in. Well speaking of writing, I do have something to do.

Today is hump day so have a humpy day!

Okay well I am slowly working on preparing stories for publication and also trying to type the new story that I have finished. I don’t know I feel very apprehensive about sending stories away. I know there will probably rejection, that is almost a give. But what I am very apprehensive about is I don’t think my stories are prepared enough. And then I become frustrated, throw my hands in the air and don’t think about it.

I know there comes a point when you say to yourself “screw it” and just take the chance. Well lucky for me some of the magazines I have selected to submit stuff don’t accept manuscripts until the end of August but there is one magazine that accepts in July. I am really aiming to have something to send that one. If I miss July, I will have to wait until November.

Of course, I am going to need patience to follow through with my dreams. This might sound like a temper tantrum, but I want something to happen now. Of course a huge chunk is my shoulders and I maybe I should spend more time reworking them. Yet, I feel that I will never be satisfied with the revisions.

When is enough? When is time to say, “yeah it’s alright, send it away”? I do wonder.

Have a wonderful Wednesday

comment from blogger

I belong to this online writer’s group and I recently shared a poem on there. There was on person who said that it isn’t a poem because it does have rhyme or meter (the long short sounds of syllables on a particular line) Apparently, this caused a lot of unheaval on the group.

Well it got me thinking, what is poem? In school, I studied many poets like Shakespeare, Yeats, ee cummings, and Robert Frost. Some of them had the traditonal ways to write a poem and then others invented their own style. I learned all the rules of traditional poetry but if anyone notices I rarely write in those forms. I find the rules too constrictive, and when I am forced to write a certain way, I write crap.

I always had the impression poetry is something from deep inside, a string words like pearls to make something beautiful. Everyone has their own definition of what poetry is but I think people on a whole just know when they are reading a poem, regardless of the syle or the meter. Because they just know.

Some people are misguided, I think. I have met many people that say to me where’s the rhyme? If there’s no rhyme it’s not a poem. Well I say to them there is a lot more than rhyme that makes a poem a poem. It is putting yourself through the words.

What do others think?

Have a great day!

comment from blogger

Beautiful
You are
With your eyes closed
And a gold aura
Surrounding you,
Like a forgotten angel.

I am
The solitary skier
Swishing down an
Elongating slope of
Grass.

The touch remains from
Last night.
The taste from the first night
Remembered.

Falling into your arms
From a dream,
Once forgotten.
Ahead the sky is blue.
Voluptuous mountains carve out the horizon.

As far as I can see
You are the only one in view.

Fiery, golden dragons
Wrap around my heart.
Intense,
Fierce,
Passionate,
Lasting.

Two become half of one.

Vibrant trees reach for the infinite sky.
The wind serenades you a lullaby
And your eyes close.

In a cauldron magick is stirred
And in arms magick
Is made.