Before I am Famous

Hello, I don’t know I just have to say what I am feeling right now. I guess I am kind of down in the dumps. I really don’t know why. I think there is a lot of things. I guess I am in just in one of those moods. Everyone goes through them.

I know one thing is that feeling of inadequency as fas as writing goes. But I suppose that is everyday but lately it seems like I am not good enough. I think I should stop reading for awhile and focus on my work. I spend way too much time comparing my stories with other people. Sometimes, I think hey my story is better than this one. And then in the same thought I don’t know why I even try. Aahhh. I am frusturated. Do all people go through this in their chosen life?

Another is I want to lose some weight. I really do except I love food way too much. I tried cutting my calories to 1500 a day. A big drop from probably more than that I eat a day. Well that didn’t last long even though I was eating right around there I was hungry which made me agitated and then I am stuck in this loop of eating again. I have been guzzling water like crazy but that craving for food is something I should try getting over before I really start dropping the calorie intake. I don’t know what I am going to do about that.

I really can’t believe how the calories add up. When I started to keep track of the food I was so shocked how much everything is. It makes me stop and think. I know I have to exercise. Yeah I am one of those people that start really exercising. And then one day I wake up and quit. I get bored of the exercise I designed for myself and that is the end of that.

So I am not the perfect person everyone thought I was. Perhaps I will find solace in my bath or in my dreams. We shall see.

I needed to get all this off my chest.

Have a good day.

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