Before I am Famous

literature is something we infer after the story is told

Buzzy and Clem’s Adventure

Posted on | September 27, 2007 |

Clem flew to Buzzy’s place in an abandoned barn. His pal slept as he came in.

“Buzzy, wake up,” Clem said jabbing the haggard vulture with his wing.

“What is it, Clem. Doncha see its nap time?”

“Stop bein such a geezer. I heard of a place to get some a-one chow. Let’s go,” Clem babbled.

“Aw man, I’m done with them pole cats. Go away,” Buzzy said in a deliberate fashion.

“No not, pole cat. Bar-bee-cue. My cuz told me about this place in Ashland, Buford’s Big Time Bar-Bee-cue. The people just throw the food away. There are dumpsters and picnic tables filled with juicy beef. Come on let’s go.”

Buzzy hadn’t dined on beef in a long time. Although Ashland was a distance he knew his pal would never lead him astray, “let’s go.”

“I know you’d see things my way.”

Off the pair of vultures went, one old the other young. Clem never paced himself, always rearing to go so he flew ahead. Buzzy, a much slower flyer, enjoyed the scenery. As the sun moved in the sky, the pair entered new territory.

“Come on geezer. Beef!” yelled Clem.

They passed a farm. Buzzy noticed a plump, white goose bobbing in the pond. “Mm. Mm. Mm,” Buzzy said to himself. Clem was so far ahead probably wouldn’t even realize Buzzy took a detour.

Buzzy glided down to the pond. The goose glistened like a pearl in the sun. Buzzy didn’t know how to swim nor did he care too much for water. He hovered above her.

“Hello,” he called but she ignored him. Dang he thought she must like them swimming birds. He came in and tried swimming and flapping his wings. The goose startled by the buzzard honked and flogged Buzzy.

“Now wait a minute, sugar,” Buzzy tried to reason with her. She flapped her wings. Clem soared down and grabbed Buzzy and ascended.

“What are you doing? We’re going for bar-bee-cue and you’re getting cozy with a goose,” Clem scolded.

“Dang, did you see those tail feathers?” Buzzy replied.

Clem let him go and they continued on their way.

“Hey Clem, break time,” Buzzy said and swooped to a tree near some picnic tables. Clem grunted as he joined him on the branch. A man came out of the building with another man.

“When we get to Ashland, payday,” the one main said.

The vultures looked at one another and nodded. They watched the men enter a black SUV with a roof rack. The vultures glided to the SUV and gripped the roof rack tightly. The vehicle sped off.

“This is much better, Buzzy,” yelled Clem, “we’ll be there in no time.”

The vehicle drove fast on the highway. Buzzy remembered that he hadn’t eaten all day. Other cars blew their horns. Buzzy looked for food.

Suddenly, he spotted a juicy appetizer, deer. He let go, the force of the wind threw him back some but regained control and went to the doe. The meat was fresh. Buzzy grabbed chunk after chunk eating as fast as possible. Good thing he did because Clem appeared.

“If it ain’t one thing, it’s another,” Clem said.

I was hungry,” Buzzy replied.

“You know we lost a perfectly good ride to Ashland.”

“Hey Clem, a bird’s gotta eat, you know.”

“Yeah, okay you’re right,” Clem agreed and sampled some deer. After a few bites Clem urged them on their way. They tried hitching a ride but couldn’t latch on anywhere.

Up ahead, Clem noticed an RV on the side of the road. He circled above the frazzled, knee-high socked balding owner.

“Carmen, get buckled up. Let’s go,” he yelled.

“How much further until we eat?” an elderly woman replied.

“Well Ashland is in a couple of exits.”

Clem waved for Buzzy. H e picked up his pace. The owner looked at the tires. The vultures slipped in the open door in the back of the RV. Carmen didn’t notice them because she was engrossed in her book. The vultures perched themselves on the sofa. The man slammed the door, climbed in the driver seat and started the engine.

“Yup,” Buzzy said.

“Beef bar-bee-cue here we come.”

Buzzy figured he could slip in a nap. Unfortunately, Buzzy snored not the soft snoring but the loud, tree cutting snore. Clem didn’t notice because he too napped. The old people in front noticed. Carmen’s scream startled the vultures awake. Her husband lost control of the RV and spun. Feathers flew off the birds as they were tossed side to side. The man muttered, “holy crap” as the birds rushed forward.

Carmen screamed and tried smacking at them. Buzzy held onto the man’s head and Clem grabbed Carmen’s shirt. The RV slammed into a tree, steam rose from the hood. Both Carmen and her husband screamed, opened their doors, and dashed outside. Feathers littered the RV. The pair exited out of the door.

“Stupid man, can’t he drive?” said Buzzy.

“Maybe if you weren’t snoring so loud,” Clem started to say but noticed something in the air, “Buzzy you smell that?”

“Mm. Mm. Beef.”

They followed the scent. There is was Buford’s Big Time Barbeque, picnic tables were scattered in front of a shack with an open pit for cooking. The few customers enjoying the barbeque didn’t notice them. On a table near the dumpster sat a tray full of yummy beef and pork. They went over and ate hearty. The customers noticed the birds and tossed them the leftovers.

“Yup,” Buzzy said acknowledging Clem’s grand idea.

“Yup, Buzzy.”

A special thanks to Anne at Gods are Bored for help with this story!!

comment from blogger

Anne Johnson said…
Superb! Will link!

Seriously, this made my day, because I’ve been traveling with Buzzy and Clem for a long while, and you just nailed them on the first try! They will always hitch a ride in a vehicle instead of flying if they can!

Category: weekly shorts

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