Before I am Famous

I was not looking forward to seeing my sister at dinner. Lisa was not the brightest person, so she and I were in the same grade throughout high school because she failed a couple of grades. Lisa was pregnant two times, but she gave those kids up for adoption and she had an abortion when she was fifteen. My friends and I used to make fun of her when she would walk by. Normally, I was the ringleader. She was not intelligent and we were. We knew what condoms were, but she probably did not even know what the word meant. When we both were seniors, she finally had enough and moved out. This started a long process of the family being ripped apart.

Easter 1985 was the first time I was going to see her since graduation two years before. She never came to family gatherings because I was there. My younger brother, Rob, brutally raped and killed another man and he was in a maximum security prison in Utah or Nevada so he was not going to be at my grandmother’s.

My parents and I walked in the very crowded house. Grandmom bounded up, “Happy Easter!” She gave us a big hug and went back to the kitchen. I scanned each room of the house. Lisa was not there yet. Good I thought, maybe she won’t show up. I spoke too soon. The door opened and a tall man holding a curly-haired child walked in with Lisa by his side.

“Mom! Dad!” Lisa squealed with delight. Both of them whipped around with tears in their eyes. I could not even look at her. So I went and found my uncles drinking in the backyard.

Uncle Rick stood up, “Hi Daisy, wanna beer?”

“Sounds good,” I said.

“I have a very big announcement to make at dinner,” Uncle Rick said.

“Oh yeah?”

“I’ll have the whole family in shock,” he said.

“I am looking forward to it.”

Uncle Mike interjected,” So are we all.”

Grandmom called us in for dinner. I was seated between an empty seat and Lisa. After the prayer was given by my normally soft- spoken grandfather, we began to serve and eat the food. I wanted to know why there was an empty seat next to me.

“Grandmom,” I called.

“Yes, hon”

“Why is there an empty seat next to me?”

“For Rob, he must be stuck in traffic or something.”

“He’s not coming.”

“Why?” At this point my parents dropped their forks and shook their heads. I could not believe it, my grandparents did not know.

“Rob is in jail for the rest of his life!”

“WHAT?!” Granddad roared from his seat at the head of the table.

I kept going, knowing my parents disapproval. They needed to know, right? “He brutally raped and killed a man.” Their mouths dropped.

“Rob! Not Rob– he’s such a good boy!” Grandmom blubbered.

“Margaret, it’s Easter. Let’s finish our meal. No more out of you, Daisy. Look what you did to your grandmother,” quietly said Granddad.

The room fell into uncomfortable silence.

When Uncle Rick stood up, all the family’s eyes were on him. “ I have some good news. I am getting married. Not only that, I bought a house and I’m moving out.”

Applause and congratulations erupted from the family, I was happy for Uncle Rick. I liked the girl he was marrying, probably because she was only a few years older than I was. Uncle Rick lived with my grandparents for most of his adult life other than the three years when he was married before. I gave a him a smile. He needed a woman like that to save him from this insane family.

“As long as we are on good news, I have some.” Lisa yelled.” My husband, John-Paul was promoted to vice president of his company and we are moving to LA.”

My parents smiled proudly. Their daughter made it. She beat all the odds. I was angered. How could she have someone like that? I am smart, successful in school- Dean’s list every semester. I am attractive with long brown hair and green eyes, not that Lisa is ugly, but I always felt that I did not look ordinary like she did. And I dated grade- A losers. I am a winner and I should be with winners. My sister is a loser and she got herself a winner. How was that fair?

Her almond eyes turned to me. She must have felt my scowl.

“What’s wrong, Daisy? Jealous?”

“No,” I mumbled under my breath.

“You are. Now you know how it feels. You had everything that I wanted- brains, looks, hot guys and popularity. Now I have a man that you want. How does it feel?”

“Shut up, Lisa.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

“Why?”

I sat quietly for a minute. I hated her so much. Why? Why did she get the good life? I deserve to have the good life. I always did. I am the one that did everything right.

“You know, Lisa. Do Mom and Dad know about your previous pregnancies and your abortion? Remember now? I covered you and lied for you,” I said.

“Shut up , Daisy” Tears swelled in her eyes.

I did not control my mouth; I never realized what I said until after. “ That’s not all. She was gang-banged two or three times. She is what you call a nymphomaniac.” I knew I was yelling. Lisa was crying.” She was a little slut. I was known as Slutty Lisa’s Little Sister. I don’t think Lisa knows how to keep her legs closed.”

“Stop Daisy, stop!” Lisa wailed in between sobs. The family stared at me in shock.

“Oh yeah, well everybody Daisy is a WITCH!” Lisa ragefully screamed. My grandmother passed out and fell to the floor. Uncle Mike and my mother ran to her. She came to shortly and sobbed in my mother’s arms.

Dinner was finished. Dad drove me back home and we went back to be with his mother-in-law. That Monday, I was ready to leave and go back to college when my parents told me to move out and never come back. I packed the rest of my stuff, leaving the furniture. I never did come back.

Two years later, right before I graduated, I received two letters; one from Lisa and the other from Uncle Rick. I was more curious about Lisa’s than Uncle Rick’s so I read her letter first. It was a short letter.

May 10, 1987

Dear Daisy,

The letter brought me to tears. Ever since Easter, I felt so guilty because I told those secrets of Lisa to the entire family. This letter was the cherry to my surmounting guilt.

Uncle Rick’s letter was a bit longer.

May 12, 1987

His words saddened me. I felt more alone. No longer did I have a family.

A week later, as promised, Uncle Rick was at my graduation. We went to dinner where we talked for hours. That was the last I saw my family. Occasionally, I received letters from Uncle Rick and sometimes Lisa to keep me posted. But it’s just not the same. I should not have said anything at Easter because instead of seeming like the fair-haired child, I was a disgrace to my family and myself. I am sure they suffer, but they do not know how every hour, every minute, every second, I am suffering too.

*Just a little writing treat for you all. I wrote this story in 1999 and won second place in the writing contest at Penn State Lehigh Valley. This is not the exact version as I have edited over the years. Enjoy!*

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