Before I am Famous

Fireflies. Ray saw dozens of them, gently sailing through thick summer air. When Carrie and Ray were five, before their first day of school, Aunt Beth took them to field at dusk. There were hundreds of fireflies blinking on and off like floating lighthouses. They ran in the field, reaching for pieces of light. Carrie and Ray laughed as they fell to the ground. Gazing at the infant night sky with its faint starlight and blinking bugs, they were free.

Ray knew something was wrong. She didn’t feel Carrie’s hair against her cheek. Her heart sank. She just knew Carrie was gone. Forcing her eyelids, she saw a sterile haze. Ray awoke. She blinked a few times and her eyes adjusted. She turned and looked at her sister. Carrie was horrible.

Carrie ‘s head was shaved and bruised and stitched. Yet, she looked peaceful, probably because that is how they made dead people look. Ray was alive and she was alone.

Aunt Beth stirred in the chair and grabbed Ray’s hand, “hey Theresa.”

“Aunt Beth,” Ray murmured. Aunt Beth hugged her.

“I have something to tell you,” she started.

“Carrie,” Ray interjected.

“She’s brain dead.”

“She’s gone Aunt Beth. I know she’s gone,” Ray exploded into tears. Beth joined in with her own.

A tall man in a white coat entered the room, “Oh good you are awake. I’m Dr. Robertson and you are at Albany Memorial. You were airlifted here two days ago from Catskill.” He turned to Beth, “have you told her?” She nodded.

“Do you want to talk about the accident or do you want to wait until later?” Dr. Robertson asked Ray.

“I guess now would be okay,” Ray whispered.

He wheeled a stool over and sat beside her, “I am very sorry we couldn’t save Carrie. We tried our very best but the rod pierced her brain in such a way that she hemorrhaged too badly then had a stroke. In one way she’s alive because you are breathing yet. We took you off the ventilator yesterday. Here is the truth, Carrie will never wake up, she’ll never breathe or talk or anything else.”

Ray looked over at Carrie, “why am I alive?”

“Luck I guess but the way and your sister were wired in a way that you could operate the body. We have an option for you so that you may continue to live.”

“What do you mean?” Ray asked.

The doctor cleared his throat and fidgeted some, “well we think we can remove Carrie’s head. Then with therapy and back braces we can offer you a life. Of course we cannot guarantee that you will live or the surgery will be a success. We cannot guarantee how long you’ll live.”

“I want to be alone,” Ray said.

Dr. Robertson nodded, “okay think about it, Theresa.”

“You too, Aunt Beth.”

“Okay sweet heart,” Beth said and kissed her on the cheek.

A life without Carrie? Is it even possible? All her short life she wondered what it would be like if she and Carrie had separate bodies. Now here was her opportunity; she didn’t want it now. Ray wanted Carrie to wake up and nag her study or whatever. Ray screamed Carrie’s name but nothing. She broke down. Ray knew she could live without Carrie but doesn’t want to. Ray was nothing without Carrie. She wanted to die. She had to die. Why was she still alive?

for more information and to read previous chapters visit Firefly

Lucky for them, Fred avoided them but they weren’t really looking for him either. School was the same except Michelle talked with them. Still everyone gawked, Ray wanted to beat some heads together but Carrie was in the driver’s seat and didn’t let her reigns go.
Carrie and Ray went to work. The shop closed at and they locked the doors at 9:15. Now it was off to Michelle’s. Carrie was apprehensive. Ray wondered if Michelle tasted different from Ryder.
Michelle lived about 15 minutes outside of town. Carrie started the car and Ray turned on the radio.
“Hold on Ray, I want to call Michelle and tell her we’re on the way,” Carrie said. Ray turned down the radio and Carrie made the call. Then Carrie put her car in drive; Ray cranked the stereo. Carrie’s mind drifted as town lights faded in the rear view mirror. She wondered about Bryce and what he was doing. She glanced over at Ray, lost in her world. Where would I be…
***
Ray shrieked. The car spun out of control. Ray took over. A steel rod about six or seven feet long speared into Carrie’s left eye. Blood oozed down her face. Ray slammed on the brakes. The tires wailed and they hit a tree.
“Carrie! Carrie! Can you hear me?!” Ray screamed at her sister. “Don’t worry,” Ray fumbled for the phone and dialed 911.
“911, what’s your emergency?”
“My sister… bleeding…impaled…. hurry,” a freaking out Ray told the dispatcher.
The operator tried talking to Ray but she dropped the phone.
“Carrie! Please, please wake up. Do something, Carrie!”
Red and blue flashed and sirens shrieked behind them several minutes later. Ray continued screaming Carrie’s name.
A police officer shined a light in, “Miss Devon stay calm, which one are you?”
“Theresa”
Firemen came and assessed the situation. A man in yellow retrieved a saw. He threw a blanket over Ray’s head. “Turn your head to the side and keep the blanket on,” he ordered.
Ray felt the sparks hit her exposed skin as they cut through the rod. Finally they cut enough away to remove the girls. Ray slipped out of consciousness.

The following while they were watching tv in their room when EJ burst in with black roses for Ray and white for Carrie. The girls shrieked and the friends hugged once again.

“I’ve missed you girls so much,” EJ said.

“Missed you too,” Carrie replied

“I am so glad you are here,” Ray said.

They sat on the bed, “Are you going to school tomorrow?” EJ asked.

“Yes, it’s important for us to try and be normal,” Carrie answered.

“So we all going to live together or what?” Ray interjected, “because my girlfriend will be joining us.”

“Yeah if you still want to. There’s a two-bedroom apartment over front street all utilities for $300. We can look at it tomorrow.”

“That’s pretty reasonable”

“Hey don’t worry my parents are picking up the tab. They said we have to buy our own food.”

“When can we move in?” asked Ray.

“Well if we like, we sign the lease and you guys can move in whenever.”

The trio continued chatting on about the freedom of living together. EJ left close to 11. Carrie wanted to go bed, Ray put on her headphones and listened to music. Carrie lied in the darkness and thought about school. She wondered if people would treat them differently since everyone knew what happened. Carrie was nervous.

Ray dozed not worried about the next day. She had Carrie and Carrie was cool, level headed and the leader. Ray liked it that way, dependant on Carrie. It let Ray be free while Carrie clung to normalcy. Carrie didn’t sleep well.

Carrie woke still tired. She woke Ray and dressed in Carrie’s style. Grabbing a cup of coffee, Carrie chugged it down. Aunt Beth put their car keys on the counter with a little note, “have a great day. Love Aunt Beth.”

“Hey we got wheels,” Ray said.

“Yeah.”

Ray blared the music as Carrie smoked. What would happen today? She parked the car and the walked in, heads high.

No one talked to them, just stared like Carrie thought they would. Ray noticed and snapped at some of them. The offenders quickly averted their eyes. At lunch they sat alone and didn’t talk to one another. Ray knew Carrie regretted coming to school. Carrie knew Ray was right. Michelle came to their table.

“Hi Carrie, Ray can I join you?”

“Yeah if you want to,” Carrie mumbled.

“It’s nice to see you guys back at school. It was weird not seeing you around,” Michelle said

“What’s it that you want Michelle?” Ray asked with agitation.

“An olive branch. Look I can help you get back on track, Carrie. We were best friends. Yeah I went out with Nick but he asked me out and I really liked him. But all he talked about was you. I was a replacement for you, Carrie. I am sorry. I really am,” Michelle pleaded.

“Why did you though, you could’ve said no,” Carrie prodded

“Carrie, I was like you lonely desperate curious. You knew it wouldn’t last between Nick and me. We read about it all the time, young love never survives. Please Carrie forgive me. I feel everything that has happened to you is my fault.”

Carrie pushed away her soda and looked in Michelle’s eyes for sincerity, “I’m pretty much over it, Michelle. We can see how it goes.”

“Yeah Michelle, maybe you can actually use your brain for once and don’t fuck with my sister again,” Ray demanded.

“Ray don’t be so vulgar,” Carrie condemned.

“Do you want to come over and study tonight?”

“Can’t we’re going to work then we’re meeting EJ to look at an apartment,” Carrie said. “Maybe tomorrow.”

“Okay sounds good.”

Seeing Michelle made Carrie mildly happy. She brought normalcy with her but the new truth, Carrie never really felt like her friendship with Michelle was true. A vision of Ryder came to mind, all alone. Ryder was her best friend now. There was no question. Sometime there was a chemistry for romance and sometimes there was chemistry for unconditional friendship.

Ray was slightly pleased with Carrie and Michelle’s taped friendship. Although she was in love with Ryder, she still loved the way Michelle looked.

***
The girls went to work at the Paper Moon. Many of the regulars were happy to see them back. Afterwards they met EJ at the apartment.

It was in an old house, the owner’s turned into apartments. The apartment for rent was on the second floor with hardwood floors and many windows. They decided this was the place for them. EJ signed the lease.

Celebrating with coffee and cigarettes at the Paper Moon until it closed. The twins felt their life falling into place. Happiness was in their close future.

for previous chapters visitfirefly

I know I said I was going to post the next edition of Firefly but I couldn’t find the notebook until this morning. Clutter covered it up, it most of have been tossed in a box when I was looking for something else. Please remember this is a first draft. I am trying like crazy to not add more stuff then what is already written in the notebook.

I wrote this story last summer and it is rough. I do fix some construction while I am typing but I have this urge to add and subtract stuff and make it meatier. The problem if I do this now in the middle of the project I think it will be strange reading especially if you have been following along this whole time. I don’t know what the word count is of the entire story but I am figuring 20,000-25,000 about half of some mght consider a novel. Consider the version you read here the skeleton because if this story is ever published, there will be more, it will b be different and it will be better.

Writing is a game that requires patience and confidence

The girls were to be released the first week of January much to the dismay of Ryder and Ray. Carrie on the other hand was anxious to be normal again. Although Bryce was locked up, she couldn’t wait to see him. He put her on the list but she had to wait until she turned 18.

The triad spent every moment they could together and nights were fun but sad for the couple.

“I love you so much, Ray. What am I going to do without you?” Ryder asked.

“I’ll write every day. We’ll have a place all ready for you when you leave. We’ll be here to pick you up,” Ray kissed Ryder’s forehead.

“I don’t want you to go.”

“I want to be wherever you are,” Ray replied embracing her.

The release date was January 7. Ryder spent her time crying and making love to Ray. Carrie felt their heart shatter. She liked the tender side of Ray. When Ray and Ryder were together, Ray became nicer because she was in love.

Ray looked forward to leaving Whispering Pines. She wanted Ryder every moment of the day. She loved her. Ray never cried butut she wanted to every time she saw Ryder dry. It was only going to be a little more than a month. She grabbed Ryder from behind and whispered, “I love you” in her ear.

The night before their departure they shared an amazing time, no one slept. Day light rushed into the room and they made love one last time, for a little while. Carrie and Ray packed. Ryder, still naked hugged them both.

“Good bye Carrie. I’ll miss you,” they shared a sweet non-open mouth kiss.

“I’ll be here first thing on our birthday. I promise,” Carrie guaranteed.

Ryder any Ray kissed starving for each other’s fluids, “I love you Ray. This is so fucking hard. I wish I could go now.”

“I love you too, Ry, we’ll be together soon.” They turned to leave. Ryder rushed back into the bed they all shared and sobbed in the pillow. Carrie closed the door and tears fell from Ray’s eyes.

Aunt Beth waited for them in the main reception area. Her belly exploded with twin boys inside. They hugged her.

“Oh girls,” Aunt Beth said, “I’ve missed you.”

“We missed you too,” Carrie said.
***
Ray’s eyes were down cast and Carrie felt weighted with sadness. The reception at Fred’s was nonexistent. Beth showed them the nursery, then to their room which had been redone. Half of the room was dark, the way Ray liked it and the other half was light the way Carrie liked it.

“You like it?” Aunt Beth asked.

“Yeah.”

“Fred wasn’t too happy but he got over it. Okay I’ll let you girls relax,” their Aunt said and closed the door.

“Can we lay down?” Ray asked. They crept on the bed. Ray put the pillow to her face and cried. In some weird way it felt good. Her therapist told her to cry because it was cathartic. This was more; it was weeping. She wept for everything and losing Ryder temporarily. Although she always had Carrie, Ray felt alone. Sometimes she and Carrie were oceans apart though they shared the same body. Ray didn’t want to stop. She let the tears fall.

Carrie thought of Bryce alone in jail. She needed him and his touch. Missing his funky cologne, and his long black hair tickling her body, she started to cry as well. She missed Ryder. She was nothing like Michelle, condescending miss perfect. Carrie realized that she was the same as Michelle because she saw herself through Ryder’s eyes. Ryder brought it up. She cried because she was a bad sister to Ray. When she thought of the love between Ray and Ryder, made her angry since they would be together soon.

They wanted to be alone with their thoughts. Neither talked nor grabbed their computers or turned on the television. The loneliness of their return home was the same as their first day at Whispering Pines. Both let salty streams flow to soak the pillows. Love was a damned thing because how could something so wonderful be so terrible?

for previous chapters to this story please visit Firefly

On Christmas morning, Ryder woke each with a kiss. Of course, she kissed Ray more passionately.
“Hi,” Ryder greeted, “merry Christmas.”
“Bah hum bug,” Ray replied.
Ryder pulled out two small boxes wrapped with thick green ribbon and handed one each to the girls, “open them.”
Inside were silver necklaces with a split heart charm. Ray pulled out her end and put it one, Carrie had an end and Ray had the center. “Look they connect,” Ryder demonstrated.
Ray took from underneath her pillow. “I have something for you to.”
Ryder giggled and opened the box to discover two intertwining silver vine rings. “I love them,” then placed one on her finger and gently slid the other on Ray’s finger.  They shared a longing and lingering kiss.
Carrie went over to the dresser and presented Ryder with a neatly wrapped package. She ripped apart the silver paper.  It was a leather bound journal with blank and lined pages. Ryder hugged her hard.
“Oh Carrie, it’s wonderful. I always wanted one,” Ryder exclaimed. “Don’t you guys exchange gifts?”
“You know how hard it would be to shop for one another? We choose something we both want and buy it ourselves,” Carrie explained.
“Yeah if we had plastic, we could shop online,” Ray added

Sundays were free days, Carrie needed to talk to Ray. Ryder understood and didn’t follow them outside. The girls shivered under their light winter coat.
“Ray are you bi or a lesbian?” Carrie began.
“I guess bi but I like women more. I like sex with Bryce. I’d rather have sex with Ryder.”
“Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“I was scared that you wouldn’t let us explore. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. So you liked Michelle?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay.”
“What are you thinking?” Ray asked.
“I don’t know, I just kind of- I really don’t know.”
“Did you like it, Carrie?”
“I like being with Bryce but it was okay with Ryder.”
“Will you do it again?”
“You know I will,” Carrie replied, “we have to share our body, you know. Anyway you did it for me.”
The girls clasped hands and touched heads. They met Ryder at a walking path for their daily smoke. Carrie and Ryder lit up and watched the tinsel smoke hang in the frosty air.
“Everything okay?” Ryder asked.
“Yeah, not a problem,” Carrie said, “what about you?”
“Yeah,” she squeezed Ray’s hand.
***
Night after night, Ryder joined them in bed. It was a good time for Carrie but Ray felt a lot more. She loved Ryder.  One night Ray told Ryder that she loved her and Ryder said Ray and Carrie and she were soul mates. Ryder said she couldn’t imagine her life without them.
All the girls that did well on the program were given a day in town. Ryder, Ray and Carrie were apart of the good girls. It was the first time in six weeks that they were in the real world. The girls enjoyed their free time together. They sat in a diner and ordered pie and coffee.
“You know I could do this forever,” Ryder said in between mouthfuls of pie.
“Do what?” Ray asked.
“Be with you guys forever. You know Carrie is my best friend and I am in love with Ray. Bryce seems cool. I’m sure we can work it out something. We can all live together. We can go to your town and find a place. What do you think?”
Ray grabbed her hand and stroked it, “you know I’d love it. What do you think Carrie?”
“That’s great because EJ said he’ll live with us too. I wouldn’t mind. Are you sure you want to?”
“I don’t want to go home. My parent’s are assholes. I just love you guys so much, I don’t want to be apart from you.”
Ray soared at the idea of her true love living with her, for once in a life she truly knew what happiness was.

Aunt Beth came and brought letters, three for Carrie and one for Ray. They decided to read them with Ryder. After a walk around the grounds in the cold winter sun, the twins raced to their room. Ryder was on her bed.

“Hey you,” she said making eye contact with Ray only.

“Look letters,” Carrie said.

“Who are they from?”she asked.

“Mine’s from EJ,” Ray answered.

“I got one from Bryce, Michelle and EJ.”

Ryder squealed, “read the one from Bryce.”

“Okay, it’s postmarked from county jail,” Carrie frowned. She tore open the envelope. “Dear Belladonna, I heard you are stashed away at rehab. It’s better than where I am. I was sentenced to a year in jail. It’s not your fault; it’s mine. EJ comes and sees me. He was always a good guy. After all this shit went down, he’s the only who has been there for me. When I get home, I hope we can see each other. I miss you and Ray and the fun we have together. Please write. Your vampire of the night, Bryce.”

“He sounds really sweet,” Ryder commented, “Ray, what did EJ write?”

“Hello Ray. I miss you so much. I’ve got no one to talk to about my guy problems. I’m still seeing Jason, he’s a great guy. When you come home you’ll have to meet him. I’m still living in the camper. It’s not the same with out you. I hope you’re okay at the joint. Always, EJ.”

Ray eyes misted over. “Ray are you okay?” Ryder asked.

“There’s no one like him. He’s the only one who cared for us. You know before you.” They shared a smile.

Carrie read the letter from EJ next, “Hello Carrie fairy. How are you doing? Bryce is in jail. I visit him as much as I can. He needs a friend. He talks about you a lot so I think he’s for real about you. Here’s his address. I’m sure he’ll love to hear from you. He might even love you but he’ll never admit it though. Always, EJ.”

“What did the bitch Michelle want?” asked Ray.

Carrie ripped open the letter, “Dear Carrie, I can’t believe what happened. Your aunt told me. I had no idea things were bad for you. I feel like it was partly my fault. I’ve missed you these last months. Life isn’t the same without you and even Ray. Maybe we can try being friends again. Please write, Michelle.” Carrie balled the letter and tossed it on the floor, “yeah that will happen,” she mumbled.

***

The wind grew louder and snow rushed around. Ray and Carrie slept at peace. Ryder slipped into bed next to Ray. She woke up looking into Ryder’s eyes. Their breath laced together and warmed Ray’s mouth.

“I’m sorry I had a nightmare,” Ryder whispered

“It’s okay,” Ray answered, put her arm around the blonde and pulled her closer. Ryder gazed at Ray and kissed her on the cheek. Icy fire raced through Ray’s body. She knew Carrie would stir but returned the kiss on the lips.

A simple kiss turned into groping tongues. Carrie awoke. Ryder saw her stir and kissed her. The gentle touch awakened her senses but it was not an exhilarating kiss like Bryce’s kiss. Carrie said nothing only participated. She saw Ray in a different light and this is what she wanted because Ray did it for Carrie.

Ryder inebriated Ray. She wanted more and Ryder gave her everything.

For Carrie, things fell into place about Ray. Carrie now knew Ray wanted and was attracted to women because their heart thundered with every touch from Ryder. Why didn’t she tell her before? Afterwards, they lay naked in the tangled sheets. Ryder ran her hand up and down their body.

“Ray have you ever done that before?” Ryder whispered.

“Not with a woman. Have you?”

“Yeah with my best friend. It left me hungry but she wasn’t into it. Carrie are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

Ryder and Ray joined their mouths together. She pecked a kiss with Carrie. Carrie was okay, she had fun, she had an orgasm. But she wanted Bryce. This was Ray’s turn for love. Anyway, Carrie really liked Ryder, liked her better than Michelle.

“I would stay with you but if they found us in bed together, we’d be separated.” Ryder dressed in the dark as did the girls and went into their separate beds.

Whispering Pines was just outside of Niagra. A large wrought iron fence barricaded the expansive property. A man at the gate let them pass. The trees were barren and depressed they noticed as they drove up the hill. On the apex of the hill sat a huge stone house, more like a fortune. They each carried a bag , Beth opened the door for them.

The inside had no color just sterile white. The white that is so white and with not even a spec of dirt or yellowing along the edges with time. Everything was uniform. To the left registration screamed go away masking as comfort, where they sat in uncomfortable leather chairs.

A plump woman donning a white lab coat and stethoscope entered from another door, “Ms. Devon?” she said and shook Beth’s hand. “Nice to meet you, I am Dr. Belvery.”

Dr. Belvery noticed the two suitcases, “we have a strict policy, one suitcase per patient.”

“They are two patients.”

“One bed, one suitcase. I’m sorry that is our policy. Just because you are conjoined twin doesn’t give you special privileges.” Carrie gave hers back to Beth.

“Now here at Whispering Pines we treat young women who have drug and alcohol issues. There are the hard core addicts and then they are girls like you who were put here to prevent full-blown addiction. You may receive letters from friends but you may not see them. Your relatives are the only ones to visit. One visitor per Saturday per month. Meaning if your Aunt visits two Saturdays from now, she will have to wait a full month before seeing you again.”

After endless sheets of paper were signed, the girls hugged Aunt Beth and then led to a room; a room only bearing a window and a small bed. Another nurse took their suitcase. The girls changed into a sweat suit. The nurse forced Ray to remove her piercings and Carrie tied her hair up.

Dr. Belvery spoke, “okay you have solitary confinement for a mild detox. Afterwards, you will join group therapy and the rest of the girls.” She shut the door.

“At least we have each other,” Carrie said.

They lay on the bed which had a solitaire sterile white sheet.

“I can’t believe they think we are addicts. God damn, it’s only been a few months,” Ray said.

“We were having fun, I thought that was normal.”

Normal. Boyfriends, sex, beer and smokes were normal for many teenagers. Carrie wanted to be normal, it sickened her to be treated special only because she was a conjoined twin. It wasn’t Ray’s fault or her own but their mother’s. She ruined their lives from the beginning. She and Ray could never have children because it would be too stressful on their body. Carrie had dreams of her own body and Ray separate from herself.

This was the perfect time to tell Carrie about her attraction to women but decided against it. Ray knew she could get Carrie to be with a woman if she were drunk. Now they were in rehab. If the quacks fix, Carrie party time will be over for sure. The upside would be maybe Carrie would talk to Michelle again. Ray liked Michelle’s body.

***

The girls didn’t talk to one another. They each wanted alone time, alone with their thoughts. Their thoughts were their only true belonging, their shred of privacy. After thee the detox, the girls were led to a much bigger room with sun catching windows and two cozy beds. They had a room mate. Sarah, the nurse said they can explore the house. The first group therapy was in half an hour.

A pretty, blonde slender girl came in. Ray noticed her and looked her over, over her perfect breasts and body. Blondie stared at the twins.

“Hi,” she quietly said.

“I’m Carrie and this is Theresa,” Carrie said.

Cautiously she approached the girls and shook their hands, “Ryder, Ryder’s my name.”

Ray wanted to touch her smooth and fleshy hands again.

“I know you are probably afraid or whatever but we’re just conjoined twins. We are two people that share a body,” Carrie explained.

“I just never met anyone or people. I don’t know,” Ryder mumbled and cast her eyes to the floor.

Carrie babbled on, “we are from Catskill. What about you?”

“New Hampshire,” she replied, “so is it hard to have sex with a guy cause there are two heads?” Ryder asked out of the blue.

“Two heads, one hole it all works in the end,” Ray answered.

Ryder didn’t know what to think about her new room mates. The whole situation freaked her out. Perhaps she talked with a two headed person one with long corn silk streaked pink hair and the other feathers of a raven. She walked with to group therapy. The room stared at the twins, murmurs and hushed giggles made their way through the crowd.

“Hello all, please welcome our new girls Carrie and Theresa.”

The girls nodded. They were uncomfortable with the stares. They didn’t speak neither did Ryder. Afterwards dinner would be served. They sat by themselves. Home was much easier to deal with because everyone stopped staring a long time ago. Each was lonely for either a best friend or a lover or just regular life. Carrie became overwhelmed with everything that transpired in the last 36 hours; she wept. Ray almost joined her sister but Ryder came over.

“Okay I don’t know how to deal with you guys but I figure I should just wing it. Back home I’m friends with this guy who has OCD s bad he can’t even go to school but he’s fun anyway. Why are you here?” Ryder talked as if she were excited or high.

“Drinking,” Carrie replied.

“Pot,” Ray answered.

“We got arrested for underage drinking and possession. I drink. She smokes. Our aunt thinks we’re on the road to destruction. What about you?”

“Second DUI, second underage drinking. Fuck, I could use a smoke.”

“Yeah me too,” Carrie agreed.

“They only allow smoking for legal age. I know a girl she smokes. Maybe I can get maybe 2 from her. We can smoke them tomorrow.”

“Sounds good.”

“What’s it like here?” Ray asked.

“Like a fucking nunnery except we have some freedoms like our letters. I’m writing my boyfriend and my best friend but I think something fishy is going on cause they didn’t write back yet. I hate this I have a few more months and I’ll be 18 then I’m out of here,” Ryder rambled.

“Same here when’s your birthday?” Ray inquired.

“Valentine’s Day.”

“Us too.”

“Great we can bust out of here and I don’t know move to Canada. No, I’ll probably go back to my bitch ass mom. I’m beginning to think my boyfriend is cheating on me with Coral, my best friend. There’s nothing I can do about it. These whackos think I’m bipolar and I know I am not crazy. I’ll be laughing on the way out the door. You know what they believe here? They believe everyone is here because they got some mental illness and a drug problem or something,” Ryder finished and her food as if she were on speed. She had logic to her thought, she said what was on her mind at the very same moment she thought it.

Carrie liked Ryder as did Ray. But for Ray, it was important for Carrie just to like her.

“So what did you guys do in Catskill?”

“Party, hang out with EJ and Bryce,” Carrie answered.

“Are they your boyfriends?”

Ray laughed, “no well Bryce is Carrie’s boyfriend. EJ is my best friend, he’s gay.”

Carrie interjected, “you’re right not to trust your best friend. My old best friend, Michelle, snapped up the guy I liked. You know why he didn’t go out with me? Because he hated Ray. It didn’t matter though because Michelle should’ve never gone out with him anyway.”

“Yeah, that’s what I think too,” Ryder said with a mouthful of instant mashed potatoes.

It started. The girls had someone who could relate to each of them, even though she was a single person. Days started to fly by because Ryder, Carrie and Ray were attached at the hip. And Ryder spent equal time with each of them. Ray knew she was perfect for her and Carrie as Bryce was. At times Ray’s and Ryder’s would lock and Ray’s body tingled. Was there a mutual attraction?

Carrie spent therapy time the best by talking. Ray talked some but she remained distant like she had a dirty secret she wanted t to tell but couldn’t find the words.

The shrink was a 50 something Freud lover. Her office tried hard to be welcoming with bright colors and cozy furniture yet it remained sterile. The girls sat on the plush sofa.

“Hello girls; I am Dr. Richard. Who is who?”

“I’m Carrie,” she raised her hand.

“Okay. Let’s talk about why you are here today.”

“We have to be,” Ray said.

“I understand that but why were you forced to come?”

“Because we aren’t doing well in school,” Carrie replied.

“Is there more?”

“What do you mean?” Ray asked.

“Girls, I can’t help you unless you talk to me,” Dr. Richard closed her notebook and moved from behind the desk to a chair near the couch. “Let’s get to know each other better. Theresa, what are your interests?”

“Music, horror movies and hanging out with my best friend, EJ”

“Carrie and you?”

“Reading, school and Bryce.”

“Who is Bryce? Is he your boyfriend?”

“He’s our boyfriend,” Carrie replied.

“So EJ your best friend too, Carrie?” the doc asked.

“No not really. My best friend was Michelle but she stole the guy I liked and now we are not friends anymore,” Carrie babbled.

“But you share Bryce, don’t you wish you can have to him for yourself?”

“Yeah but we have to share him because we share the same parts.”

“Theresa, are you okay with this?”

“If Carrie is happy then so am I.”

“Do you always do want Carrie wants?”

“Sometimes.”

Were they done yet? Ray hoped soon because she planned on gagging Carrie. Carrie was Carrie and she was all about talking about her problems while Ray liked to deal with stuff on her own.

The doctor looked at the clock on the wall, “okay girls time is up. I’d like to see you once a week. Please make an appointment with Melissa.”

Aunt Beth waited for them in the lobby so they made an appointment to make it look good. After Beth drove them back home, Carrie called Bryce and got no answer. Ray tried EJ. They were up in their room when Fred walked in and shut the door behind him.

“Going somewhere?” he asked.

“Yeah out,” Ray replied level-headed. They tried to leave but he stood in their way.

“You told Beth about my plan. She was very unhappy. It added more stress which she doesn’t need more of especially carrying twins. And you mutants are putting a lot of strain on her. Perhaps you should go sooner.”

“Fuck off Fred. Beth won’t let us go.”

His face steamed and he shoved them on the bed, straddling them. He circled a calloused hand around each one of their necks.

“Okay this is how it is. You move out; you tell her it is your idea. No one wants you here anyway. I don’t and Beth doesn’t. She never wanted you anyway. The only reason she raised you is because she felt like she had to. Why don’t you return the favor and leave?” He let go and stood up, “one more thing you tell Beth expect to be severely punished and that is a promise.”

They laid still. Tears fell from Carrie’s eyes. Their body trembled. ” Are you okay, Carrie?” Ray asked. Carrie was so sweet and smart; she should never be treated like that. Ray blamed herself for all the trouble bestowed on Carrie and wished, briefly, that she would die and they would remove her head. Carrie deserved better than this. EJ called.

“Hey Bryce is having a party tonight. You coming?”

“Yeah we’ll be there,” Ray replied.

“Hurry.”

“Bryce is having a party,” Ray told Carrie.

“That’s exactly what I need, drinks and Bryce.”

They packed a few things to old them over until Beth told them to come home. They slipped down the stairs and into the late fall air. Carrie lit a cigarette and said let’s go.

She drove to the party. The lawn was packed; they parked in the street. Walking through the front door, Bryce spotted them, “Belladonna,” he said. His pet name for Carrie since he said she was his poison.

“Bryce.” The couple kissed, shoving tongues all about. To be nice, Ray and Bryce shared a quick kiss.

“Where’s EJ?” Ray yelled above the music.

” I think he is upstairs with Jason. He’s been trying to land him for months,” Bryce replied.

The last time Carrie saw the time, it just turned to three a.m. Bryce helped them to his room. There were in the middle of sex when the door burst open.

It was the cops.

Ray was close to passing ut and Carrie was right behind her. They couldn’t stand the mix of weed and booze. The cops forced Bryce to dress and led out in handcuffs. A lady cop helped the girls dress and arrested them as well. Cop cars swarmed the property; red and blue light lit the street like the fourth of July.

Carrie passed out then Ray.

***

They awoke in a cell alone.

“Ray what happened?”

“I don’t know.”

“I hope Bryce is okay.”

A lady cop appeared in front of them, “Hello ladies. Do you remember what happened?”

“Is Bryce okay?” Carrie asked.

“Yup, he’s fine, posted bail this morning. I’m officer McFarce. You girls were arrested for underage drinking and possession of marijuana.”

“Why haven’t we been bailed out?” Ray asked.

“I tried calling your home but no one answered. You realize Bryce is 25, you can press statutory rape charges on him,” she said.

“What on Bryce? That’s Carrie’s boyfriend. Didn’t realize he was 25,” Ray said.

“Is there anyone to call?”

“Yeah EJ”

A few hours later, they were let out on bail and released to EJ’s custody.

“Did you get arrested,” Ray asked.

“No, good thing too because if they would’ve found my stash, I’d still be in jail. Me and Jason went back to my place hours before the raid. We wanted some privacy.”

On the way back to his place, EJ lit a bowl and asked, “what the fuck happened? He never was caught before. I wonder who stooged on him. Why didn’t Beth come and get you?”

“They couldn’t get a hold of her. Thanks for bailing us out. Do you think I should call Bryce?” Carrie asked.

“Not today, his parent’s are probably ripping him a new asshole. He’s in serious shit right now, Carrie.”

Ray took a hit, “it was probably fucking Fred.”

“Oh come on, Ray. How would he know what we’re doing and with who,” Carrie said.

“Fuck Carrie, he’s the fucking plumber he knows everything that goes on,” she took another hit and relaxed some more. Carrie’s brain uncramped and soared.

They talked about EJ’s conquest when someone knocked on the door. EJ opened the door and entrails of smoke greeted Beth.

“Hi Beth.”

“EJ. Girls come out here please,” she said.

They started out the door and tripped over EJ, he caught them before they fell. Carrie and Ray sat in the plastic chair. Beth stared down at them with the where-did-I-go-wrong and how-could-you rolled into one.

“I don’t know where to start. I just found out about the arrest. I’m sorry you spent all night in jail. I have been thinking about what to do before I came over here. I see only one option. You girls aren’t going to like this but there’s nothing you can do since you are 17 and I am your legal guardian. I don’t want to do this but I want to save your life before it is destroyed.”

“What are you talking about?” Ray asked.

“Rehab. There’s a place that specializes in young women. It offers lots of therapy and education.”

“Uh, like rehab as we go and live there?” Carrie asked.

“Exactly, I’m taking you there now.”

“What about the court date?”

“I’ve worked that out. Going here will take care of the charges. I’ve packed some bags for you.”

“I bet Fred is making you do this,” Carrie said.

“I want to help you girls. I love you so much. Fred suggested this place, he’s paying for it,” Beth said.

“Do we have a choice?”

“No.”

“Can wee say good bye to EJ?” Carrie asked.

“Two minutes.”

The girls went back inside and told their friend they were leaving. He didn’t understand at first until Ray explained it. He promised to write and hugged them hard. The three exchanged “I love you’s” He watched them get into Beth’s car. They waved as she drove away.